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You’ll be cautious of people that don’t have similar outlooks and if you get involved with them you may think they’re ‘too nice’ or even privately wonder why the hell they’re making a ‘bad’ investment in you.

Unfortunately having boundaries and not being willing to live up to the perception of you does bring conflict but after years of avoiding it or exploding, I’ve discovered the sky doesn’t fall in when I stand up for myself.

The past is still there, my childhood isn’t about to magic itself into a fairy tale, and in the background of my life is an element of processing the past.

more about Anastasia from Zaporozhye I am a tender and romantic woman.

I wish to admit that I am a woman who knows exactly what she needs in her life and doesn't want to loose time in vain. more about Pavlina from Romny Over 10,000 personal ads of beautiful Russian women. A lot of information, how to meet Russian women, how not to fall victim to scam.

My taste in relationships has obviously dramatically changed, but most of the factors that contributed to how I saw myself still exist and have changed very little – I’ve just dramatically lessened the impact and importance of them.

My father is still the original Mr Unavailable in my life and puts me through the hot and cold rinse, over-promising, under-delivering, Future Faking and the list goes on.I’ve only had good self-esteem for almost six years.The difference between me now and back then is that I believe I’m a person of value, that’s worthwhile and worthy of being treated decently and I have enough confidence in myself that I will do whatever it takes to behave in line with that value and steer clear of anything or anyone that detracts from me. All I have to do is look at a ‘relationship resume’ that reads like a series of bad romances on fast forward as a reminder of what happens when you bowl around looking for love in the wrong places trying to make people create feelings in you that you should be creating for yourself.When you don’t have good self-esteem it’s because in having conditional love for yourself, you try to get people (and sometimes objects and substances) to create feelings in you that you don’t feel yourself.You make external sources the solution to your internal problems, after all, if you don’t like and love you, why would you believe that you could entrust yourself with the responsibility of you?For a few weeks now I’ve been sitting on a ‘Self-esteem in a nutshell’ post to follow up my ‘Relationships in a nutshell’ post.I’ve been pondering why I’ve held back, tweaked it etc and I guess it’s because while I can explain the importance of self-esteem in under 1300 words, why we don’t have good self-esteem has to be acknowledged before getting into the importance of it.It takes work, but it can and does happen when you press pause on the tape that says you’re not good enough.Like forgiveness, self-esteem isn’t something that has to wait until you’re done with processing all the anger, hurt, frustration, disappointment, pain, sorrow, shame, blame, the who, what, where’s and how’s, and the whole kit and kaboodle.If I’d waited until I never gave my past or my parents a thought and the pain had dried up and everyone spontaneously combusted into doing the ‘right thing’ and automatically knowing my value, I’d still be single and careering around on the unavailable motorway of life and probably would be for the rest of my days. more about Tatyana from Odessa Every person deserves to have someone who will love you unconditionally so I'm here to find someone who will love me, someone who I deserve I know how important it is to have pas...

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